A Gentleman-like Manner

Dear boys who open doors for me*, boys who wait for me to walk in front of you, boys who grab that thing I need to carry on top of all the other things I’m carrying, or who ask if they can carry that heavy thing I’m carrying just because they’re not carrying anything… boys who act like the gentlemen their grandfathers were:

Thank you. You have no idea how nice that little moment is in my day; when I realize that there’s someone else who notices me and wants to help make it a little bit easier. And you’re not doing it because you want to get in my pants or something; often times you’re a stranger who I’ll never see again, or a friend who’s not into me like that. You should know that no matter how much it seems like I don’t notice, I do. And with every little nicety that society has told you women don’t really want or need, you melt my heart just a little, and make me feel just a tiny bit safer in this world, just a tiny bit joyful, and just a tiny bit more relaxed than I was before.

In addition I’m sorry for that awkward moment when I wait for you, who’s waiting for me, to go in the door, so it all takes a little bit too long. Or when I reach to open the door that you’re trying to open for me, or when I accidentally trip over my feet after you open the door for me, because I wasn’t planning on you opening the door for me (true story). See, I’m not used to guys doing these things: most men your age (my age) don’t. But I’m glad that you do; I’m glad that you really do exist, oh polite and helpful young men.

And even though “the good old days” feel like they must have been so amazing [men in suits every day, and a gentlemen every one!] I’m actually sort of glad that you’re so rare that each and every moment like this is a special gem in my day, and something of a cheat-sheet for knowing a little bit about the guy you’re walking next to.

*For a much longer take on this exact issue, read this article from The Art of Manliness; an article with many fantastic points, but not all fantastic points…

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